Swirling

Centered by necessity in the eddies of insistent distortion.  Acceptance:  what is, is.  Thank you for speaking to me and straightening me out while I want to be somehow uninvolved in this evolution.  Gratitude.

Sorry to be scarce as things unfold, new evidence of the temporal dharmas dissolving in effluent acidity in my mouth.  It is easy to be swept up in the gross organic nature of nature, smells and sensations that are perhaps not always pleasant and others.

Others continually bombard an usurp with casual oblivious force these sweet moments one might otherwise have.  Still, without others these sweet moments have little meaning.  They are all here.  So am I.  May as well make the best of that.  Yet the alarming never-ending array of them is as irresistible as the tide, tying one up in the currents of flow and aforementioned eddies, swirling in self proclaiming denial of individual sovereignty, property, time or space.  Wading through this mud can be exhausting.

I am lucky, no doubt.  I am not complaining.  Just that the getting from here to there (granted a senseless delusion) can be trying and arduous, and detachment can be a sticky thing.

So I’ll wash it off and get on with it.

Space Time Time Space Space Time

 

Space is defined by time because without time there is no distance.  Time is defined by space because without distance, time has no meaning.  Time and motion are measured by elapsed travel time between objects.  Without time, distance has no meaning.  These are the rules of the game.

The heart beats many times in a minute, its valves expanding and contracting with each pumping beat, traveling a small distance in, a small distance out.  More easily felt, the breath travels a small distance into the body and then, expelled from the body, a small distance to exit through the mouth or nostrils.  So we are given our time clock at birth and live with it all our lives, keeping time even as time keeps us inside the game.

We are conscious on some level of every passing moment, though it is an effort to focus on each single moment.  Moments are infinite, so are beyond the understanding of temporal beings like us.  In existence – space/time – everything has a beginning and an end.  Moments, however, can only be measured by what we populate them with:  a breath, a phrase, a motion, a color.  A number of moments may constitute an experience, but how many?  Who can tell us how many seconds or fractions thereof in a moment?

Thank you for spending this moment with me.  Because you were here, I will count it as one of my favorites.

Nearing Completion: Never Completion

Ebullient yet cautious I pretend to a completion of a task, but since detachment is inherent to successful completion I do not care for outcomes, but am grateful for in-goes.  For example, enthusiasm is a pure and joyous emotion that goes into the synergy of group creation and is enjoyable in and of itself.  These things, separate from outcomes, are that which are here special, because they can only happen now.

Pulled in five or more simultaneous directions, I manage to acquiesce to them all, each and every juicy dollop of joy I am allowing to invade my otherwise possible sadness that is of course always there.  Who doesn’t note the swift passage of these scant allotted days, infancy – gone, youth – gone, soon life – gone … it is only the inevitable way of things.  Things go:  it is their nature.  As we know, nature is a good thing.   Celebrate it.  It houses the inner animal that is you.

Group creation is rare and beautiful and that is why I love it so much.  Music is the perfect medium for group creation and expression because every instrument adds its color and texture to the whole.  They say music is the universal language, but not because it says so much.

It is because it says it so well. 

I, on the other hand, will keep doing what I did on the first hand because it is so fun, and fun, my friends, is where it is at.  So all of you, right now, go have fun.

It’s the right thing to do.

You, I: I, You

I am always with you.

Today I touched the spinning luminous spheres of soul and Spirit and was glad of life and consumed with breath, even though my place was filled with noise and motion, a place of relinquishing control and trust in others.  Even as I was jostled by rattling passage I soared among the stars of Spirit’s infinite domain, leaving a wake in the soup of its all-encompassing energy.  All things reacted to this miniscule ripple in the universal sea, though only a tiny few were sentient to notice.

Vibrating at our assigned frequencies I am, you are, we will be.  Ever we touch and are apart.  Each illusory day seems to pass, change seems to be, change and sameness as inseparable as being and non-being.  Awash in the ocean of being, we are moved.  Rising into the universe of non-being we simply are.

You are always with me.

Back

I am a response to alone-ness and the ever-present fact that “life is suffering” according to someone much, much more famous than I am, but although alone-ness is an important fact to accept but it need not rule, or be a rule, or whatever.  Yet as a fact it is undeniable, except by those who do not accept facts.  Facts are in fact flexible, since they are entirely dependent upon point of view.  It is arguable that you can make a rock into a toadstool if you believe it so.  Truly believe, that is.

Yet if you are believing a lie, can you make it true?  I think not.  Or perhaps I don’t think, I’m not sure.  I am a cartoon.  There are people who make lies the truth, it seems, but the seams tend to show when you sew lies.  Sometimes you have to look at two lies and find the truth that lies between them.  But can truth lie?  I am so confused.

Anyway … alone-ness: fact or fiction?  Me:  fact or fiction?  Jury’s still out.

I explain a few things..

Balance and imbalance are both illusory and real.  The Universe is both changing and unchanging.  The aspect that is changing moves from balance to imbalance and back to balance again.   Imbalance is inherent in or perhaps synonymous with change, and change is life.  That is why in life there will always be balance and imbalance, either within, without, or both.

You and I are both illusory and real.  We are each others’ creations.  You pull me out of your body and into existence.  I breath animation into the clay illusion of your flesh.  We are our own creations.  Man and woman we made us, and we were good.

There is no contradiction in your belief system except that because of the nature of the Universe it is at once both true and false.  Acceptance is not rational, but it is inevitable.

There was a man who knew he was simultaneously himself and everything else.  In the end it is unclear whether he was killed by others or his misunderstanding of his own complexity.  There is no question in anyone’s mind that he could have walked away had he desired to do so.

The most basic beliefs portray both masculine and feminine aspects of the Universe.  He rescues and defends with irresistible power.  She radiates a light so beautiful that it can kill.  They are One.  Elsewhere the Pure and Mischievous chase each other’s tails in a dance that lasts the length of time.

Here I chase your tail because that is my purpose.  You know it, too.

Simply put, this is that and you are, too.  So get off your high horse.  Walk with us, yourself, her.  Let your horses run free.  You will, too.

Terrain of Mutuality

From this vantage all memory of future care is erased and the moment is freed of it.  For this reason alone it is a diamond in the coal pile of time, sparkling like a small but powerful beacon of joy.

In the beginning I was surprised that something so seemingly selfish in its pleasure could be so completely shared; that despite the intense and memorable nature of this enjoyment only mutual thanks were due.   Later no pleasure was sufficient but one so completely shared, though still, it seemed, only mutual thanks were due.

I was compelled to explore the other side of the coin of the illusions of ‘give’ and ‘take,’ and found that both do have their attractions and all is not lost if one of a couple enjoys a fuller experience in an episode.  Part of the pleasure is sometimes the anticipation of fulfillment when brought only to the edge of the precipice of pleasure where the other has already jumped off.   Certainly the deferred explosion is often greater.  Perhaps this is because of the greater desire that pursues it.

It is important always to return to the precipice and finish that which was begun, not just for fair play, but for the greater joy.

Awaking with dawn kissing your skin with warmth, remember the attractive activities of the night and bring them with you in memory into the day.  Your friends will all enjoy your silly smile.

“I want to play maybe once or twice a month at my own club.”

“Why not every night?”

“I think I would like to continue to play with different people in different places.”

“I understand.”

“I can hire bands to play different kinds of music on different nights.  Then I will have more wonderful live music to listen to.”

“Wouldn’t you rather play it?”

“Sometimes I prefer to just listen.”

“That’s nice.   Where and when?”

“I am looking for signs that the time is at hand.”

“What about making it ‘the’ time?”  ‘

“I am trying.”

“Soon it will be effortless.”

“Thank you, sweet, sweet Tanya.”

“Thank you, Jess Killmenow.”

 

Gravity En Masse

Gravity is one control, substance another:   the role of the living is to resist these.   From the time we spring from the Earth we are pulled with constant gentle force back down toward it.  The first few times we raise ourselves to our feet, Earth’s gravity inevitably pulls us back down toward whence we came.  Often as we continue our initial training we encounter this mysterious downward attraction.  Our entourage comes to jeer at us just as we requested they do, because it seems we do not apparently possess the elementary worldliness to know that ‘what goes up must come down.’

Some face upward and enjoy the thrill of experimenting with gravity by ski jumping, sky diving, skate boarding, and bungee jumping, for a few examples.  Others cling to the ledge of security while gazing fearfully at the distance between themselves and the surface of the Earth.

There are those who study the mechanics and science of gravity and tell us that all things possess the energy of attraction in the measure appropriate to their mass.  For example, you and I attract each other in a very real physical sense, despite the absence of sexual chemistry or appealing stimuli of any kind.

Gravity pulls on us, compressing our spines and causing anything that is not fastened securely to shift its relative position gradually and slowly, but irresistibly downward.  Seeing these gravitational effects reminds us that we, too, are temporary, and we, too, are on our way surely downward, downward to rejoin our Mother, our stuff to be re-mixed in the great def jam of existence.

Realizing this we are tempted to say, “Jess Killmenow,” but most of us don’t mean it.  Most of us mean that we would rather spend our years with butts, breasts and tummies high and pert, not low and saggy.  Yet when it comes down to it, any day here is a good day.  Even if the vehicle is not so shiny anymore, we still have places we want to go.

Swim against the stream, my comrade salmon.  Rise against the downward pull, as the seedling rises, pressing ever gently upward.  Sometimes there is no measurable growth, yet our efforts to grow are never unrewarded.

Frequency

“The existence of everything is completely dependent upon the frequency of vibration of the same kind of particles.   The natures of things are determined by their frequency, everything opposite built of the same building blocks vibrating at different speeds.  You and liquid oxygen are made of the same exact stuff.  It’s time to stop being so self centered.

But it is delicious, all of this:  the goldfinches and Corvettes, carrots and sky, snow and carbon, shadows and mirrors.   So compelling, these slight variations in amplitude and/or modulation that produce this extensive bounty of varied stimuli.  One might almost think it contrived but for the sheer size and numbers of it.

Think of this:  if everything stopped vibrating there would be no difference between anything.

Applying reason is not truly productive.   We can recognize our wavelength influence and according to our detachment seduce the Creative hand to our small will, yet the Creative is the common hand, influenced by all.   Legend has it we decided it would be so, that it would be out of our control yet not beyond the human daily influence.  We have hinted to ourselves that it (and we) could all quite suddenly simply not be.  That is the fun of it.  We just do not and cannot know.

In making love we can see a small resemblance to the Divine – an exact frequency, angle, force and speed applied with a sensitivity to your small breathless responses produces the desired culmination of your female pleasure.  Timing my own, we may explode in simultaneous enjoyment of a moment of unity mimicking the Universal unity, catching thereby a glimpse of the vibration of the Eternal.  This is only an illustration of the intimacy of our connection with the Divine, the Universe, all matter and energy everywhere.  There is no limit to us except our sensitivity to the Universal vibration.”

“You can stop talking now, Jess.”

“Okay.”